We all have special activities that we like to do. Whether we like to do them by ourselves, with our partners, or with a group of friends, we all have hobbies and things that sustain us outside of our workflow. When we get into relationships, generally the interests of our partners become a part of our lives. Even if we don’t necessarily have our partner’s interests become our own, we care about the feelings of our partner and want them to feel understood. In turn, we occupy a fair bit of our time in relationships giving credence to our partner’s interests.
However, in doing so, we might come to notice that our partner’s interests are quite narrow. There are a wide variety of ways to spot this. Here are a few ways you can spot this in your partner. Keep in mind that this isn’t a guide on how to tell your partner to stop caring about what they care about; rather, its simply a guide to push them into broadening their interests:
Same Old Conversations
When someone is really into something, they will inevitably also love to talk about it. It is quite possible that your partner at some point or another will continue to talk about the same topic over and over again, with no change in topic in site. This might be a sign that your partner needs to begin expanding their interests. This is important because conversations are the life-blood of long-term relationships. If these become boring because one party can’t stop talking about their singular interest, that might become a deal-breaker.
They keep doing the same thing, and only that
You might begin to notice that your partner’s activities are very rigid. They seem to refuse to do anything new and if anything infringes upon the activity they like doing all the time, they might get angry or upset. This is certainly a sign that your partner needs to broaden your interests. What if your spouse is so interested in sports that he only wants to go to sports bars on dates just so he could watch the game over your shoulder? Liking sports that much will only do harm to a relationship. Not only is this too narrow for him, but it is also a negative infringement upon the relationship that can be remedied by encouraging your partner to try new things.
They’re getting bored, but not changing
If you get into something for long enough, apathy is something that is highly likely to occur. For instance, if you love playing guitar and you practice every day, you might get bored of doing that a couple of years down the line. If you notice that your partner has become bored with something that they once loved or still do love, try to encourage them to try new things.
If you find them boring
If you begin to find your partner boring, that is probably a sign that they have interests that are too narrow. Often it takes an outside impartial source in order to determine whether or not someone needs to discover new things. In this case, boredom is a good determination. Just be sure that this boredom actually stems from your partner’s stagnant interest and not just your distaste of one of their interests. Sometimes we can conflate the two. If you don’t like your partner’s interest, simply be honest about it and when it is brought up, indulge it for a little bit and attempt to shift the conversation elsewhere when it is appropriate.
Its great help to be open with your partner if you believe they might need to discover new things. Such conversations will open up new pathways for both you and your partner. Hopefully, these pathways will be together.