Oct 16, 2020 | Where to Begin

Swinger Lifestyle – Where to Begin

So you want to get started with the swinger’s lifestyle? This is a great way to spice up your sex life. It is also a great way to free yourself from feeling like you can’t connect with your own sexual desires. You might not know how or where to get started. Here’s a great guideline on how to get into the swinging lifestyle with ease:

Have a talk with yourself

The most important conversations that you will have in life will be the ones that you have with yourself. When it comes to determining whether or not the swinging lifestyle is for you, that principal is especially pertinent. Ask yourself this question: “Why am I interested in swinging?” There might be answers to this question that indicate that such a lifestyle is either for you or is not for you. For instance, if you are having issues in your current relationship, you might be trying to compensate for it through swinging, in which case swinging might not be a good idea –it might even be a bad idea that serves to worsen the state of your current relationship. However, if things are going well in your current relationship and you are simply looking for sexual variety, it is time to move on to the next step in the process.

Talk to your partner

So far, the desire to get into the lifestyle of swinging is only yours. You can’t simply pursue this lifestyle without telling your partner and them agreeing to it. Communication is key. Talk to your partner about your desires and if they agree and would like to join you, you have just taken your first huge step! The next step, now that you’ve agreed, is to talk about the rules. Things will not be as clear cut as “you can now have sex with anyone.” Discuss what boundaries you would like to set up and ensure such boundaries are agreed upon by both parties.

Talk to other couples

Part of the swinging lifestyle is swapping partners with other couples. If you’re hanging out with another couple you are close with and/or feel comfortable enough asking, see if they’re interested in partner swapping. You might be surprised by their answer. When doing this, though, it is important to be subtle about it and ease others into such a conversation. For instance, asking them if that is something they have ever tried or have been interested in is a good start. You don’t want to be abrupt about it and blurt out, “wanna swap?” For those who are not into this, it might offend them. Hence the importance of easing.

Using Dating Apps

Dating apps like Tinder or Bumble are perfect ways to find other couples who are interested in swinging. Many people on these apps simply advertise themselves as a couple looking for swinging, which makes the work of having to find someone in person much less stressful. If you are looking for one of the least stigma-inducing routes to explore swinging, dating apps are high up on the list.

Going to swinging clubs

Yes, there are swinging clubs. This may come as a shock to you, but these clubs are a great sign that the taboos surrounding swinging are lifting. Especially if you live in a big city, you should find no issue finding such a club through a simple google search. These are bars or night clubs specifically designed for couples who are interested in swinging. This is a great place to go if you are worried about the stigma attached to swinging; in such clubs, that stigma is fully lifted because everyone is there for the exact same reason as you are. To swing!

Ensuring safety

No matter what boundaries you and your partner have set up, you need to ensure that you and your partner are both safe when you begin swinging. This means putting into place a very important boundary: ensuring that all parties are using protection when having sex. Moreover, ensuring that the people who you are having sex with outside of your primary relationship are approved of by your primary partner. If your primary partner sees the person you wish to have sex with as sketchy, you should probably listen to them. Not only because they might actually be right –and, in turn, are signaling that the person might be dangerous– but also because you want them to feel comfortable with your own decision. As stated above, open and honest communication is the key to making the swinging lifestyle work for you. This is simply an example of that in action.

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