Sep 23, 2020 | Where to Begin

So You’re Wondering If You’re Polyamorous?

It’s hard to figure out if you’re polyamorous or not or if that feeling that you’re having is something different. If you’re here and seeking answers to that question in your mind, then most likely, you realize that your boundless love and affection aren’t what society sees as typical, and thus you want to know if this is for you.

It seems straightforward that you love more than one person and go on your merry way, not needing to think about everything that goes into it, because love is all you need, right? Well, not exactly. There are a few things that go into a polyamorous relationship, and we have to get over the first thing, which is that society romanticizes the fact that to have ‘true love,’ you must only love one person and only one person. We’re all brought up to believe this unless you happen to be in a family that doesn’t follow that particular walk of life, and yet society still frowns on it.

Realizing that being polyamorous isn’t wrong is the first step in your journey. There are more people than you know that live that lifestyle. There are more polyamorous people in the USA than those of LGBTQIA influence; it’s just not as out in the wide-open as the LGBTQIA community is.

Let’s ask a few questions about yourself before we dive into anything else.

  • What do you want out of being polyamorous?
  • How do you feel about jealously?
  • Are you a jealous person?
  • How are your communication skills?
  • What are your expectations of any polyamorous relationship?
  • Are you prepared for changes that will happen when dealing with multiple partners?

These are all questions that should be asked, and many more surely will pop into your head over time while thinking about answers to them. Connect with other polyamorous people and people of that persuasion to get a feel for the community at large and understand just how it works. This isn’t to hook up with someone right away but to look at the community, get to know people, get to see the way it works and if you’re comfortable with it and find that it’s what you’re looking for.

Have you read anything on polyamory and wanted to know more? Find more text on it and be curious, don’t be afraid to explore and create questions to be answered either by finding books, articles, or other means such as other people to answer these for you. Doing this research will get you to know polyamory and allow you a window into your mind on whether you think you’re on that path.

Opening yourself up to multiple partners is a beautiful thing to do, and something that those that are into the lifestyle want to share. Make sure you’re going into an open relationship for the right reasons and not just to ‘try it out’ because you’re curious before doing the research, is the best course of action as there are multiple people, feelings, and other factors involved. No one wants to go into a relationship with the stipulation that it might not work out in a few days because you’re just dipping your toe into the water.

That said, however, if you’re ready to try things out, make sure you tell those that you get involved with that you’re new to this, and you are trying it out. Have rules and boundaries, sit down, and talk to them about their own rules and boundaries. Make sure that everyone agrees in the relationship. If you find that you’re enjoying the company, the time spent between partners, and the time put into the relationship, it’s probably because you’re polyamorous.

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