Polyamorous Apps- Do they exist?
In this day and age, there are apps for almost everything- especially dating. As of 2018, the online dating industry had a net worth of $12 billion! And while about 17% of people engage or have engaged in polyamorous relationships- there are still very few dating apps that nail polyamory on the head. However, there are multiple dating apps that allot for non-monogamy. So, which are the most effective?
AshleyMadison- Misunderstood but practical:
AshleyMadison is notorious for being the site people use to cheat on their partner. But, what people don’t recognize is that it is actually commonly used to connect couples or individuals who are seeking consensual, non-monogamous dating/relationships. Even though it is the most controversial app, there is a substantial chance you will find several like-minded people to engage with.
Tinder- The most popular, but least Poly focused:
Tinder is by far the most used dating app on the market with an estimated 50 million users worldwide. And while it doesn’t have a specific option for non-monogamous relationships, it does allow you to write a bio where you can clearly state what you are looking for. Some examples are: “couple looking for a female/male third” or “non-monogamous, looking for fun.” Despite having to read each person's bio, Tinder is a great way to find exactly what you are looking for.
Feeld- The most unconventional and exotic:
Feeld is an app that not many people have heard of but is filled with curiosity and open-mindedness. It is known for breaking away from the conventionality of monogamous relationships and finding your deepest, wildest dreams and desires- of course, with people who are looking to do the same. On Feeld, you are connected to people based on your desires and fantasies. They allow you to even have a couple's profile where you can both take part!
OKCupid- Mainstream but detailed:
OKCupid has been around for 16 years! In 2016, they added an “open relationship” setting that helps link couples and individuals looking for Polyamorous relationships. OKCupid is very detailed, allowing you to answer specific questions about the sexual experiences you prefer. The app allows you to link your “primary partners” profile, which helps you connect quickly with people that are most in line with what you are looking for. Oh, and it sifts through monogamous relationships, so you don’t have to!
BiCupid: Niche but open-minded:
Bicupid is an app with very specific people in mind- open-minded, bisexuals. While it does cater to polyamorous relationships, it’s primarily used to help people discover their true sexuality and find partners that relate to their wants and needs of a relationship. Once that is established, people who meet on BiCupid then have the chance to seek non-monogamous relationships if they so choose!
#Open: Small but focused and effective:
#Open is by far the smallest polyamory-friendly dating app. Because it is so new, there aren’t as many users, and therefore, not as many options for connections. Although it isn’t the most used, it is strictly for open relationships, so there is no confusion or judgment as to what people are looking for.
Tips for success: things you need to know about using apps to initiate polyamory
Be open and detailed! With so many different relationships and desires along the spectrum of non-monogamy, it is important to be detailed about what you are looking for on your profile. The more detailed you are, the more likely you are to find the perfect fit...no one wants that awkward first time!! This also starts with you and your partner being on the same page about what you are and aren’t okay with and what the ideal candidate looks like.
Try a few out! Dating apps are just like clothes- you need to try a few out before you find one that works perfectly for you! Each app has its own unique aspects that may or may not work for you! It’s important to find the one, or few, that match your interests the most!
Ask questions! If you come across someone’s profile that you’re interested in, ask them about themselves and their relationship! No question is a stupid question- its better to be in sync rather than have a mishap!