I have always been a very unconventional person. Ever since I was very young, I was always curious about bodies, sex, romance, and partnerships. I have always thought about what I wanted my partnerships to look like, and whether I could be happy with more than one of them. Because I have always held this unconventional philosophy, I have always attracted people who aligned with the way that I wanted to experience love. Due to these experiences, I became more and more interested in dating multiple people at the same time. Here are 4 reasons that I knew I was ready to give open relationships a try.
1. I Have Always Been Poly-Romantic
Being poly-romantic and simply having a crush on every eligible Bachelor or Bachelorette are two different things. On one hand, a crush is simply being fond of or having affection for someone. Romanticism goes beyond having affection and builds on the intimacy you share with another to actually engage in affection.
Since high school, I noticed that the closeness, the kisses, the light touches, the spending of time, and the holding of hands for me, were not exclusive to just one person; they could be shared with many. And although they were with many, they were not trivial. They were beautiful connections sharing a safe space of trust and vulnerability. A space that I find, can be replicated and respected in my life with multiple partners.
2. I Am Amazing at Providing Undivided Attention
I am an active listener. I have learned that people do not feel special or validated by inactive listening. So when someone is talking to me, I remember what we talk about, I respond to things they say, I give eye contact, I nod my head in agreement, and I ask questions. I also spent quality time without interruption. Unless it is an absolute emergency, I am not diverting my attention away from the person I am spending time with to look at my phone or my computer.
3. I Have Never Struggled With Being Honest
Historically, I have struggled with communication. Over the years, I have also learned that the omission of information is a form of lying. And the act of lying to someone for their own “best interest” is an example of selfishness and abuse of power. If someone I am interested in asks me, “who are my current partners?” Or “Am I sleeping with anyone?” Regardless of how long our courting process has been at that time, they will know all that they ask. For me, it is important to give others the ability to choose whether it’s best for them to leave or stay with me. I must give people the freedom to calculate their own risks.
4. I Am Great at Not Comparing Others
I think many people believe it’s human nature to compare. It seems natural to compare light and dark or what is the best versus the worst. For many, the existence of two opposites requires the natural opposition of the two. But I have always challenged this way of thinking.
I have come to realize that I am actually able to like people in isolation. I know why I like each partner of mine, and I can accept and respect those differences. I find no need or desire to pin my partners against one another in my head. I want no reason to treat anyone with less respect, time, or energy. I simply love to love equally.