One of the most important factors when it comes to any sort of relationship is honesty. This isn’t just honesty with your partner[s], however. Even more importantly, honesty with yourself is crucial to the success of any relationship. Being in an open relationship is no exception to this rule. Being honest with yourself is very important when it comes to the success of an open relationship.
Fundamentally, it takes asking yourself important questions, to be honest with yourself. The most important conversation you can have is the one that you have with yourself. Without an internal dialogue, its impossible to be honest with yourself. Here are a few questions to ask yourself before entering into an open relationship:
1. Are you prone to jealousy? Can you overcome such proneness if you are?
It might be the case that you believe you are ready for an open relationship. The idea of romantic and sexual variety intrigues you. However, it might be the case that in the context of relationships you are prone to jealousy. If so, this is something you need to confront, as, if you are this might be a sign that you are not yet ready for an open relationship. If an open relationship is something that really appeals to you, but you understand your jealous tendencies, you need to discuss with yourself how capable you are of overcoming such tendencies. If you can work through your jealousy, you might be able to explore open relationships. If not, you might want to re-think entering into one for the time being.
2. What do you want from a relationship?
Often, people who are interested in open relationships are interested in the variety that accompanies it sexually. However, an open relationship for many is far more than just sex. It is a romantic attachment to multiple people that is on par with an ordinary monogamous attachment, emotionally speaking. That is to say, being in an open relationship is not the same thing as having no strings attached. Hence, you need to ask yourself this question: “am I in this for relationships, or am I in this just for sex?” If it is the answer is that you are looking for multiple romantic partners, then great! Your intentions are on par with what amounts to an open relationship. If you are just looking for sex, however, you might need to re-evaluate whether or not you ought to be seeking out others who are looking for an open relationship. If you decide to still pursue others, you need to make your intentions clear from the get-go. Many who are interested in open relationships are looking for deep emotional and romantic bonds and would feel that their time would be wasted with someone just looking for sex. The last thing you want to do is waste other people’s time.
3. Are you okay with your primary partner seeing other people?
Generally, people enter into open relationships because they themselves want to see other people. This is all well and good. However, open relationships often have the following dynamic: a primary partner and several secondary partners. You need to ask yourself if you are okay with your primary partner seeing other people, while still being in a relationship with you. If you are okay with this, then you should not have anything to worry about. But, if the idea of your partner seeing other people worries you, you might not be ready for an open relationship. Open relationships require selflessness, not selfishness and if you cannot handle the notion of your primary partner seeing someone else, an open relationship is not the option for you.